(Response forthcoming in part two)
I'm bad with names. I can remember a face no problem. But names are automatically sent to an unlockable vault deep within the cortex of my brain. I don't know if it is my short term memory that is a problem or long term. I have forgotten names of people I have just met while they are finishing their "Hi, I'm so and so. Nice to meet you." You had me at Hi and lost me by "I'm so and so." Likewise, I also can't remember the names of people I grew up with. I dread going out and about in my hometown for fear that I will run into someone who is purportedly my BFF from 1986 and I just don't remember his or her name to save my life. I'm partial to the Elaine Benes idea that we should all wear name tags. (For those not familiar with Seinfeld, Google it.)
Now, one might be inclined to suggest that I see a neurologist to have a thorough hippocampus evaluation. But I'm not so sure the problem is completely organic. I'm leaning more towards blaming media overload. Have you ever read an online article and actually got through the entire thing without clicking a hyperlink? It's impossible to resist, right? I mean, check out the following sentence from the Wikipedia entry for "Memory":
So, this might explain my loss of memory, but what about my antisociality? I find it much easier to send an email than to just pick up the phone and call the person with my question that will take two seconds to answer. I fear "bothering" people and have somehow been tricked into believing that an email is much less annoying than a phone call. Just think about how wrong that is. If I call and no one is there, I can leave a message, so no time lost there. If the person answers, then great! We get to hear each other's voices, maybe tell a joke, ask how the kids are doing, etc. So the two second answer becomes a one minute conversation that includes a little jocularity. What's so wrong with that? On the other hand, if I send an email, it can get buried with the 50 or so other emails the other person has received in the last hour. He or she may see it and think for a few minutes about whether or not they have time to answer it. If they do answer it, there are two options--the complete package with a greeting, short paragraph and a salutation that probably includes the ever so popular "Regards". The other option is a terse response with no greeting, an incomplete sentence with no punctuation and if you are lucky, the replier's initials as the signature. So now, the one minute phone call, complete with two second answer and a little jocularity has turned into an obligation about as polite or formal as a greeting from a robocall. Now all I remember about the other person is that they probably have some sort of standard template that they use to send replies to everyone, regardless of the familiarity with the sender.
And then we have twitter, which is even more blunt. And Facebook status updates that are either TMI or superfluous nonsense that may make your friends LOL, cry, Like or ignore. There's no way to tell if the latter is happening unless you use one of those "Who is my top stalker" applications that probably leave viral overload attacking your computer the second you click "Yes, you may invade my privacy and the privacy of all of my friends." What you end up with is a 30-something tired lady writing random thoughts on a Friday night, when she should be out socializing. If only she could remember the names of the people with whom she should be socializing. So, I ask you, fellow purveyors of social media, are you more or less social and do you truly know those with whom you are socializing? With that, I bid you "regards." Whatever that means.
I'm bad with names. I can remember a face no problem. But names are automatically sent to an unlockable vault deep within the cortex of my brain. I don't know if it is my short term memory that is a problem or long term. I have forgotten names of people I have just met while they are finishing their "Hi, I'm so and so. Nice to meet you." You had me at Hi and lost me by "I'm so and so." Likewise, I also can't remember the names of people I grew up with. I dread going out and about in my hometown for fear that I will run into someone who is purportedly my BFF from 1986 and I just don't remember his or her name to save my life. I'm partial to the Elaine Benes idea that we should all wear name tags. (For those not familiar with Seinfeld, Google it.)
Now, one might be inclined to suggest that I see a neurologist to have a thorough hippocampus evaluation. But I'm not so sure the problem is completely organic. I'm leaning more towards blaming media overload. Have you ever read an online article and actually got through the entire thing without clicking a hyperlink? It's impossible to resist, right? I mean, check out the following sentence from the Wikipedia entry for "Memory":
Short-term memory is supported by transient patterns of neuronal communication, dependent on regions of the frontal lobe (especially dorsolateral prefrontal cortex) and the parietal lobe.I've underlined the hyperlinks that allow for the reader to easily click a word to find out more about frontal lobes, prefrontal cortices and the parietal lobe. After you're engrossed in the intricacies of the parietal lobe, you realize that you've gotten off on a tangent and go back to the Wiki page for Memory. By the time you do that, though, you've lost your place, forgotten what you have read and have to start all over. And this doesn't include the distractions of information trolling the right and left sides of the screen. And have you ever tried to read a news article online and have been chased by an ad for some annoying skin product or weight loss gimmick or a Progressive insurance ad showing smiling ever-so-happy girl with the price gun? No matter how far you scroll down, it is impossible to get away. It's the cyber version of cat and mouse. When you finally get to the bottom of said news article, you will come across the inevitable comment section. This is where random people with names like "FLfunnyboy" and "absolutelyright" can share their analyses with the other anonymous online commenters. Again, yet another distraction that is like a smart bomb directed right at your hippocampus.
So, this might explain my loss of memory, but what about my antisociality? I find it much easier to send an email than to just pick up the phone and call the person with my question that will take two seconds to answer. I fear "bothering" people and have somehow been tricked into believing that an email is much less annoying than a phone call. Just think about how wrong that is. If I call and no one is there, I can leave a message, so no time lost there. If the person answers, then great! We get to hear each other's voices, maybe tell a joke, ask how the kids are doing, etc. So the two second answer becomes a one minute conversation that includes a little jocularity. What's so wrong with that? On the other hand, if I send an email, it can get buried with the 50 or so other emails the other person has received in the last hour. He or she may see it and think for a few minutes about whether or not they have time to answer it. If they do answer it, there are two options--the complete package with a greeting, short paragraph and a salutation that probably includes the ever so popular "Regards". The other option is a terse response with no greeting, an incomplete sentence with no punctuation and if you are lucky, the replier's initials as the signature. So now, the one minute phone call, complete with two second answer and a little jocularity has turned into an obligation about as polite or formal as a greeting from a robocall. Now all I remember about the other person is that they probably have some sort of standard template that they use to send replies to everyone, regardless of the familiarity with the sender.
And then we have twitter, which is even more blunt. And Facebook status updates that are either TMI or superfluous nonsense that may make your friends LOL, cry, Like or ignore. There's no way to tell if the latter is happening unless you use one of those "Who is my top stalker" applications that probably leave viral overload attacking your computer the second you click "Yes, you may invade my privacy and the privacy of all of my friends." What you end up with is a 30-something tired lady writing random thoughts on a Friday night, when she should be out socializing. If only she could remember the names of the people with whom she should be socializing. So, I ask you, fellow purveyors of social media, are you more or less social and do you truly know those with whom you are socializing? With that, I bid you "regards." Whatever that means.
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