Skip to main content

An Open Letter to Politics

Dear Politics,

There is no easy way to say this, so I will not try to sugar coat it. I will be blunt, but swift, so hopefully the sting will fizzle quickly.

You, sir, are a bitch.

I know, mean, right? I'm not sorry I said it. It is a fact and facts, necessary as they are, can hurt. The facts are indisputable. Facts are emotionless. Facts do not play favorites or lean right or left. Facts are sometimes hard to take. But facts do not lie. And the fact of the matter is that you, Politics, are a total bitch.



Please do not try to defend yourself. I know this comes as a shock to you. Maybe you didn't mean to be the big B. Maybe you started out kind and well-meaning, with a big heart. And then maybe you were wronged in some hopelessly regrettable way and this left you jaded. The reason doesn't matter now, dear Politics. Just own up to the fact that you are a bitch so we can move forward.

You see, your bitchiness is tearing this country apart. The very next day after democracy has been exercised, as it is every four years, we see headlines asking how America became so polarized. In the days leading up to the election, we saw advertisements from purportedly nonpartisan spokespeople pleading with us to be civil to each other. Our purple mountains and amber waves of grain have been repainted red and blue. Even fifty shades of gray would be a stark improvement over a bipolar color wheel.

Face it, Politics, no one likes you.

You  are not welcome at family dinners. You are despised in close, public quarters. You rekindle gender wars. You make people question their faith in humanity and their belief in their religion. You make people tapdance around the very hint of your name. Indeed, I cannot mention your name around my coworkers.

You make Thanksgiving and Christmas, two days that should be filled with joy and laughter, awkward, to say the least. You make us all sick, and sick of you, we are.

Politics, you are a bitch. There are no two ways about it.

I am not sorry for being blunt. I am not sorry for stating a fact.

I'll gladly say it again. Politics, you are a bitch. Now what are you going to do about it?

Respectfully submitted,

This Girl

Popular posts from this blog

Overpopulaton of Punctuation Marks Threatens Message Extinction

[Because this bears repeating in such desperate times] Scientists report that a recent rise in the overuse of punctuation marks will ultimately lead to the demise of the common message. It is not known if the increasing trend of ending a sentence with multiple and in some cases, mixed, punctuation marks is the result of the natural evolution of messaging, or if human actions are speeding the process. What is clear, though, is that punctuation marks and messages are not taking their impending doom lying down. In a rare twist of bipartisanship, punctuation marks and messages came together to call for measures to halt the message crisis and return our civilization back to the days of making points in a clear, concise manner. Speaking for the punctuators, Exclamation point stated, "I'm a loner. You don't need two of me. The whole purpose of my existence is to accentuate a  point. I thought I was doing that just fine already." Mr. Question Mark had this to
Read more

Megan Rapinoe Deserves the Same Rights as Me

It didn’t take long to get me hooked on soccer. One play did it for me, as a matter of fact. The sequence is unforgettable—Rapinoe to Wambach to Goooaaaaalllll! That’s all it took. Now, sure, I’m a late bloomer when it comes to footballing. I still don’t understand the game fully. The whole idea of “tackling” is a puzzle to me. Isn’t that essentially tripping your opponent? If so, isn’t that just downright rude? I still don’t know how soccer players are able to overcome the fear of getting kicked in the face. And you know that whole foot-eye coordination thing? Yeah, I did not inherit that gene. But, I digress.
Read more

The Antisociality of Social Media Part 10: Breaking Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad Habits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BREAKING: ENTERTAINMENT NEWS: Reality TV power house, Bravo announced today that it will be addressing Punctuation Mark Addiction in a new series, Breaking  Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad Habits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The idea for the show was pitched by the Collective Union of Simple Messages, or CUOSM, after a campaign to fight message loss through punctuation mark abuse failed miserably. CUOSM teamed up with the informal organization the Punctuators to stall what appeared to be unsustainable punctuation overpopulation. The message had an anticlimactic effect, though, when social media users started sharing the memes originating from the campaign, while adding comments like "So True!!!!!" and "IKR?????!!"
Read more