This Girl

It's my first day. I watch as the crowd exchanges cheers and jeers back and forth each time a new kid gets picked. I look back and forth from team to team and wonder with whom will I get stuck. It's my turn. They call my name again. Reluctantly, I rise and stroll to my fate. Taking my time. Dragging my feet so as to defer the agony that surely awaits. Now, it's time. I approach the stage and take the seat. Onto my head the Sorting Hat goes. And now.....I will forever be....a member of the house of....... Ok, so I'm not a character in the Harry Potter series. J. K. Rowling apparently did not even think to write me into the script. How could this be? Must be a mistake, because I surely feel like a character. Only the screen play is Reality. The setting, Life. The stage hands, those who set the norms. The players, you and me. And now.....Action. We are taught from an early age to be careful who we hang with, else we'll get a reputation. If you lie with dogs, after

Hal Stigler, owner of medium size business, Hal's Pal's, is feeling a little left out of the current political banter over our Nation's troubled economy. The Monee, IL entrepreneur has gainfully employed 102 local residents for the past 5 years, disqualifying his company from being classified as a small business , while bringing Hal's Pal's no where close to the same league as their big business cousins. "It's just not fair," said Mr. Stigler. "Corporations are rewarded with tax loop holes and bail outs and small businesses are constantly being heralded as job creators. Where are my loop holes? Where's my recognition for creating 102 jobs?" Mr. Stigler conceived the idea for Hal's Pal's while working to sooth his beagle's separation anxiety. Mr. Stigler's canine friend, also coincidentally named Hal, would chew his 6-year old daughter's dolls until the family returned home in the evening. The family tried everything

Yeah. Yay. Hoorah. Boorah. OMG. OMFG. Yippee. Youser. There are many ways to express pure, utter delight, awesomeness, triumph, glory, excitement, etc. You name it. If it is something to be happy about, there is sure to be a short word or acronym that is understood by the masses to convey that this thing about which you are so happy is a BFD. But the one word--or words--that I just can't get my head around is woot. I mean, is it supposed to be woot, or whoot? Woo-hoo or Woot-hoot? Woot-woot or....you get the drift. How is this supposed to be spelled and where did these many variations come from? Searching deep within my soul, I did the only thing I could, which was to go to urbandictionary.com and investigate the matter. Because, I'm here to tell you, I have been totally SMOed over this for some time. I mean really. Seriously. For real. But sadly, what I learned, as is usually the case with urbandictionary and all things in cyberspace, there is no one right answer. What