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The Antisociality of Social Media (Part 2)...This is Who We Are and We Never Left the Station

I think of everything in life as either an adventure or an experiment. Social media has been a bit of both. An experiment to test the power, the purpose, the potential of these engines of connectivity. An adventure to test my willingness to meander into uncharted territory, to strike up a conversation with a stranger on the train, to let go of the fear of the unknown. So, I am writing this post as a follow up to the last thesis that asked the question of the Antisociality of Social Media: Who Are We and How Did We Get Here?

To answer this question, I will address the good, the bad and the ugly, in no particular order. These are just observations, open to interpretation and critique. This is just my commentary on the adventure and experiment we call social media. I must admit that my research is limited to Facebook since I do not tweet, I don't play four square (sounds like an elderly card game), I'm still not sure what spotify is, am too lazy to figure out flickr, have a Google Plus with no additions and am sure that Pinterest is actually interest with a spelling problem. Enjoy. Or don't enjoy. Whatever gets your day rolling.

I have never met my new BFF, but am pretty sure she is awesome.  Remember the good old days of say, third grade or so, when you were assigned a pen pal from another state and had to write letters periodically and report on your pen pal progress? Well, there's a new mechanism for that and it has many new names. Like Chat room. Or Blog comment section. Or twitter. Or Facebook. Places where you can converse with people, without knowing much about each other than what you are willing to admit online. I used to get a creepy feeling when I heard about people connecting in chat rooms. For God's sake, you could be chatting with a serial killer for crying out loud! And that Dateline NBC show where they catch sexual predators in the would-be act doesn't help ease the skittishness. As a matter of fact, I still don't even know what a chat room is or how to find one.

But great minds think alike. Sometimes we think alike in person. Sometimes, we think alike on like-minded blogs and find that we share the same opinions, same values, and in some cases, same uncanny life experiences. As you comment on a blog site, you may very well end up in a conversation--sometimes quite stimulating, sometimes just humorous banter, and sometimes you wish you could strangle the other person. Why do we do that? Well, because we are social creatures. We long for attention. We crave conversation. And if we can feed that craving with a faceless, nameless person whose conversation we enjoy, then a void is filled. Sometimes the person filling this void ends up a true friend to whom you could divulge your most pressing concerns, share your latest triumphs, lend your ear, show your support, offer advice and just have a good old fashioned conversation. While I would not recommend this for minors, as an adult woman who knows a thing or two about kick boxing, I say, bring on the conversation, but be forewarned that I am pretty feisty when I need to be.


As much as you would like it to be, Facebook is not your own personal Truman Show. I remember that movie well...."And in case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and good night!" How could you not love Truman? How could you not want to hug the poor guy as his past and present unfolded on the TeeVees? Movies can sometimes be prophetic, though...Ahem...Idiocracy...Just sayin'. As corny and unfathomable it seemed that people would be interested in watching the mundane goings on of a random person, we are seeing the manifestation of that on Facebook. Some status updates are quite funny; some are sad; some are meant to elicit a response or call to action, or start a conversation. And these are just fine, welcome and encouraged. But, for everyone who finds it necessary to post about each and every moment throughout their day, there are at least three people who find it necessary to post how annoying it is that people find it necessary to post about each and every moment of their day. To the former, I say, if you must, please do; to the latter, I say, learn the "hide all posts from..." tool. Seriously, the latter is just as annoying as the former.


I am not a twit, and therefore, do not tweet. But that is not to say that all twitterers are twits. I just do not know how to use this tool and do not feel ready to embrace it. I've read other people's tweets. Some are quite funny. Some are inspirational. Some are educational. And yet, some have been deemed necessary to the success of a long-time-coming revolution. When you compare modern language with that of the past, though, it is amazing how abrupt we have become. How succinct we must make every point at the risk of losing the attention of our mirrors. No time for elaboration. No time for a full, thoughtful debate. No time for giving our thoughtful expressions the careful thought they deserve. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Both, I say. Good in the sense that if the word needs to be spread quickly and now, then social media tools are ideal. Bad in the sense that they promote the fast food mentality in which there is no time for thought, no time for consideration and no time for full conversation. Exciting and sad in the same breath.

Where does this leave us and where should we take it? I don't know the answer to these questions. I write this as someone who doesn't even own a landline anymore. I write this as someone whose responsibilities require an imaginary leash to a smart phone. I write this as someone who witnessed a wonderful correspondence with a long time, soulmate of a friend, transform from hand-written letters into occasional emails. I write this as someone who embraces the opportunity to keep in touch with friends I never see, but whom I do not want to see fade away. I write this as someone whose experiment has yielded inconclusive data and whose adventures are continually evolving. I write this as someone who is glad that the tools exist to enable the sharing of ideas and feelings for this conflicted entity we call social media.

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